It seems like not that long ago I was a mom for the first time and here today I was college dorm shopping with my little bundle of joy and I was so over come with sadness.... I warned ya :)
I think back to myself being a child and all the memories I have. Summer vacations, family BBQs, weekend at grammas, etc. and the thought that Matthew's "childhood" and all his childhood memory making is essentially over. He starts a new chapter in life and he is so ready to launch forward and here I am wanting to clutch onto his pant legs and scream don't go! Stay here! I know this is not reality, and I know this is part of life, but as the days tick by I find myself getting more and more anxious, and my stress level is off the charts. Our whole family is about to change and although it is inevitable I am continually having to stop and put myself in check.
Times like this I just want my mom. After 10 years you would think the ache would subside but it hasn't . I want to hear her reassuring voice and see her contagious smile. I want her to see what a great young man Matthew has become. I want her see my life and where The Lord has brought us. I want to go on summer vacations with her and have family BBQs and even send the kids over to spend the weekend at their grammas. My children don't have those memories with her. Trinity doesn't even remember her. How sad to me. Growing up family was so important to us, extended family included. I knew and had close relationships with all my grandparents, aunts and cousins. If we had nothing else, we had each other and a bunch of happy memories to cherish and I am thankful for that.
It's hard to think that Matthew will be making all new memories without us. Life will go on, but for the time being it sure does stink.
If this post seems a bit ADHD, its because that's how my state of mind is at present. My thoughts are all over the place and my emotions are getting the best of me. Please pray for our family in the coming weeks. Many changes are coming as we say see ya later to our first born, start a new school curriculum, and prepare to head back to Croatia and move to a completely new area. I sure could use an extra heap of grace!
5 comments:
Hang in there girl! It's gonna get easier. Do what you can do and leave the stuff you have no control of alone. The future will happen regardless so just worry about today.
Praying for you!!!
Love the cartoon. So very true, I think. It is so true that time goes soooo fast. (Written by a grandma who thinks it was yesterday when . . . .)
Egyptologist, Dr Maurice Bucaille stayed up all this night gazing at Pharaoh’s body, thinking deeply of what his fellow researcher told him about the Muslims’ Qur’an explicitly establishing that this body was recovered after drowning, while the Christians’ Gospel (Matthew and Luca) narrated only the story of Pharaoh when he was chasing Prophet Moses/Musa (alaih salam/peace and blesings be upon him) without mentioning the fate of his body at all.
“Is it believable that Holy Prophet Muhammad (sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam/peace and blessings be upon him).
peace be upon him) knew about this over 1,000 years ago while I have only just known it?” he thought.Maurice spent a sleepless night, and asked for a version of the Torah. But it only furthered Bucaille’s astonishment; since even Torah did not narrate that
the body was recovered and remained intact due to the processing and restoration, which it did undergo.
France sent back the mummy to Egypt in a splendid glass coffin. But, since he knew about the story circulated by Muslims on the intactness of this body,he decided to pack his baggage and travel to Saudi Arabia where a medical conference happened to be held with a galaxy of Muslim anatomists attending.
There, told them about his discovery, i.e. that Pharaoh’s body was kept intact even after he drowned. One of the conferees opened the Qur’an and read out the Ayah(verse) in which Allah Almighty said,
In the name of Allah,the Most Compassionate the Most Merciful.
“So today We will save you in body that you may be to those who succeed you a sign. And indeed, many among the people, of Our signs, are heedless.” Holy Quran 10:92
In his excitement, he stood before the attendants and loudly said, “I have converted to Islam and believed in this Qur’an.”Back to France, Maurice Bucaille spent 10 years conducting a study as to how far the recently scientific facts match that mentioned in the Holy Qur’an,trying to reassure himself that the Qur’an has never contradicted with any single scientific fact, so that he eventually came up with the conclusion that
Allah Almighty said of the Qur’an, “Untruth does not come up to it before (Literally: between its two hands) it nor from behind it; a successive sending down from (One) Ever-Wise, Ever-Praiseworthy.”
He came up with a earth shaking book on the Holy Qur’an which jolted the entire Western states, with the title of the book reading, “The Bible, The Qur’an and Science, The Holy Scriptures Examined In The Light Of Modern Knowledge.”
He has authored another book titled, "THE ORIGIN OF MAN". It comprised Quranic explanations of some of the queries raised much earlier than the period when those queries were logically and satisfactorily resolved by scientific experimentation, to be fully in conformity with the explanations provided by Quran about 1500 years before. The Church acknowledged and accepted these researches of Dr. Bucaille to be a valuable contribution to human knowledge and the author became famous all over the world, like Cambridge, and Oxford Universities in U.K. & Yale and Harvard in USA. He was invited to give Extension Lectures in their academic institutions. By dint of his Quranic thought, and by virtue of his unprejudiced and realistic approach to Quranic thought, and by virtue of his unprejudiced and realistic discussion and research work, Dr. Bucaille has converted a number of high ranking scholars to agree with him and to subscribe to his view that the Quran is a Divine Book, not authored by any human being and actually a Book of
Revelations from Almighty God to His Last Prophet, Mohammed, (sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam/peace and blessings be upon him)
Nice post. By the way I also will share 3 articel about my trip from my blog.
- Transit 19 Jam di Malaysia, Ngapain Aja?
- Seharian Jadi Anak Pantai
- Berburu Bintang Bersama HAAJ
Hope you like. Regrads Misa.
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