Wednesday, May 11, 2011

I love you-- Tomorrow...

When it rains, it pours, but then the sun comes out....right? I think I see it peeking through my little black rain cloud. I am praising the Lord for the good report from the doctor on Matthew's ankle. No surgery needed and the cast will come off 4 days before he leaves for America. He will be limited on his activity for a few weeks following, but he will still make his trip and get to go to camp and thats the main thing. Pray for this momma!! I am accused of being "over-protective", but I am slightly nervous about the whole thing. I know he will be fine and he is growing up, but it is so hard to let go. I know God is going to do great things in his heart this trip and I am really excited to see the aftermath of it all!

My Venice trip has been postponed just 2 weeks. We are still going to go, but we are going to leave the 4 older boys home together at the Barlow's and take them another time. They were more excited about that arrangement than going. Geez!

I am dealing with some other issues and looking for the sun in this area of my life. I am pretty guarded and private about personal things and deal best with them by not dealing with them. I know I am a bit weird, but I have been called worse :) I tend to analyze everything and try to discover the purpose in all things. I have come to realize that there isn't always an clear answer, but farther along I'll understand why. This isn't easy for me, as I always want to know NOW.

James 1:2-4 My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations; Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience. But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing.
If anything I am learning patience. Patience with myself, patience with others and patience with God- because not everything can be answered NOW or revealed NOW or taken care of NOW...even though I want it that way. I know through all my afflictions and trials, as little or big as they may seem, God is using them to polish me, to refine me and to make me more like Christ in every area of my life. I sure have a looooooooong way to go and this is where the patience with myself comes in. I mess up a million times a day, and I see my barrel full of imperfections, but I am doing my best to be the best that I can be. (is that an Army commercial??)
This may come as a shock, but-- people annoy me! Yes, they really do and I feel bad saying that, but I am sure I annoy people too. That's just life. This is where patience for others comes in. Nope, people really are not all that they are cracked up to be, but just like God working on me- no doubt He is working on them too. I will be the first to admit I am not a people person. This is something that has to be all God and none of me and He is diligently working on this in me. This has proven to be a very difficult task (for me, not God) because sometimes most times I want to lash out and tell people what's really on my mind.
Tsk, Tsk. I know...shame, shame!
Patience with God. Hmmm? That sort of sounds bad, but it's not meant to be. He knows what I mean and my heart on the matters, so I am just going to leave it at that, because thats between just us anyway :)

I know I should reflect on something spiritual here, but what pops in my mind is that song "Tomorrow". ...Bet your bottom dollar that, tomorrow, there'll be sun...

So I am just gonna hang on till tomorrow.




1 comment:

Tori said...

Hey Girlly,
I'm really glad to know that Matthew will be okay and there's no need for surgery. That's a huge answer to prayer.
I'm also super happy for your Venice trip. How fun will that be???

Sounds like from your posts lately that you are finding a lot out about yourself. I try not to know about myself, it scares me!

Anyhoo, hang in there and try to deal out a little extra grace for those that tend to step on your happiness a little more than they should.

Miss you guys lots!!!