My oldest baby turned 16 today. It really is unreal when I think about it. Where did 16 years go?
It feels like just a short time ago, I was bringing home this little bundle of tears and poo with not a clue where life would lead us.
I remember gagging at the smell of his diaper and the smell of formula in the bottles.
I remember the first time he spit up on me, I thought I was going to turn around and spit up on him.
I remember sitting and staring at him breathe as he slept wondering what I was going to do with him and how I was going to raise him. How could I possibly be a mom, I was still a kid myself at barely 17 years old??
I remember the first time he looked in my eyes and I felt like he knew exactly who I was and was counting on me to be everything he deserved.
I remember crying everyday and even though I was not yet saved, begging God to help me "not mess up his life" lol.
I remember the first smile, the first giggle, the first tooth, the first step and the first boo-boo.
I tend to suppress my memory because some things are painful and some things need to be forgotten, but I am so glad I can remember all the joy and anxiety I felt as I became a mother for the first time.
Looking back I was a scared little girl who had no idea the future the Lord had in store for this precious little baby that changed my life in every way imaginable!
It is hard to think that he will soon be in college and pursing a life of his own. He surrendered himself to God when he was 8 years old and all I could do is pray is that God will use him a mighty way to touch hearts and change lives and be an instrument in changing Heavens population. He is outgoing, and independent and bold yet he is has a strong, smart head on his shoulders and I know he will continue to do great things for God.
All those years ago, if I ever stopped to think who Matthew would be at 16, I don' t think I could have envisioned anything more perfect than who he is today. He is so special to me and I love him so much and I am so proud of the man he is becoming.