Monday, March 7, 2011

Homeschool Blues

Perhaps at some point in every girl's life they want to grow up and be a teacher. Maybe they play school with siblings or stuffed animals. And maybe the thought of a classroom full of excited kids who learn from them would be so rewarding. We all know the patient, crafty, got-it-all-together super teacher mom who has every challenge already 'in the bag'. Oh, how I envy those kind! Not this girl. That was never a desire of mine and I never entertained the thought of being a teacher- let alone a homeschool mom! To be honest the thought of it would make me shudder. Fast forward 25 years and we clearly see the Lord has quite a sense of humor. I, however, fail to find it funny. :)

We do have a schedule I keep to, but other than that, it is a endless headache from 8-2 daily!
I have tried sooo many different ways to make it work for me and I still have yet to come up with the solution. I feel like I am failing and at some point everyday I lock myself in a room and cry. It is no wonder when the alarm goes off in the morning, I wish I could stay in bed til dinner time. I want this time to be special and memorable for my kids, but I fear they will grow up remembering that crazy madwoman of a monster teacher mom. No doubt some nights they have nightmares about the day. Ok, maybe I am exaggerating, but somedays I feel like it's a nightmare and I want to pinch myself to wake up and I realize this is reality.
People say "make the best of it", "do what works for you", "make it fun". BLAH BLAH BLAH! Yep- that's all I hear lately cause I am at the end of my rope and have tried to make the best out of it, and tried to make it fun and what works for me would be to have summer vacation ALL year long! But all thats not going to make them learn and it is not going to get the work done.

Anyway, thats my rant for today. I feel slightly better. No, I don't- I'm lying. But it would be nice to know I am not alone. I know not all days are bad but for some reason they are the ones I let get me down, instead of letting the good days bring me joy. Still, at the end of the night when my precious kids are asleep and I thank the Lord for the day I am grateful I can homeschool my kids. I am grateful I have control of what they are learning and the influences around them. I am grateful for the freedom to teach them and raise them in the admonition of the Lord.
So I found this cartoon and it about sums it up...especially the last box. Your family is right where they ought to be...home.

I couldn't make this picture bigger but lo and behold
when I clicked on it , it got bigger. It takes me awhile to figure these things out :)


Anonymous said...

You are not alone! If anyone out there says that they love it one hundred percent of the time, is lying. There have been countless days that I have had to 'walk away' to release or after having released my anger and regain my composure. I feel if they don't succeed and make great grades that it is a reflection of teaching or lack thereof. I do the best I can and pray for the rest. Hang in there lady, summer is almost here! :)

Tori said...

Okay so you know you're not alone because I'm in the same boat with you. I know you already knew that but still.
Anyhoo, miss ya!

Patty said...

Hi, Traci: I had the same conversation with myself many, many times. There were days when I couldn't decide whether I should eat them alive or just hang myself. Good to know I did neither, but wanting to quit was a common thread. Be sure you are using materials that satisfy your family's needs and your sensibilities. Videos don't work for everyone; workbooks don't work for everyone. Realize that the end of the process is down the road- even in a regular school setting, students don't "get it" the first, second, or third time around. Be patient with yourself, be patient with the kids. RELAX and use regular home times (baking cookies, cleaning, shopping and cooking) to teach math, science or other subjects. DO NOT measure your success in grades OR in relation to what other people are doing. Ask the Lord to help you mold your children's characters, and use this time to capture their hearts. There are a lot of facts they will learn and forget over time, but the connection you make with each of them now will stand you in good stead should difficult or rebellious times come. Don't forget that there is a large brother-and-sisterhood who understand, empathize, and pray for you. Jesus said, "My grace is sufficient..." You can trust that our Lord will keep you from eating them alive. 8-)