Saturday, August 20, 2011

hiss

I have several posts I have started and not finished and then I have several posts that I have finished and not published. This may or may not be one of them.....
One of the hardest things for me personally, is having the right spirit within me. If you knew the me before I was saved, you will know I have changed quite considerably. Before I wouldn't think twice about telling you exactly what was on my mind or even consider the effect of the words that spilled out of my heart. Yes, they came out of my mouth, but for out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaketh. While learning to just zip it, I came across the verse that says "But those things which proceed out of the mouth come forth from the heart; and they defile the man." I was(and still am) reminded that the wrong things that come out of my heart will defile me and could endanger my testimony for Christ. Sometimes I am surprised that I still have a tongue in my mouth due to the sheer number of times I *literally* had to bite it to force myself to not say a word. And so this may be true for many. Some women just ooze graciousness and kindness. This doesn't come easy for me at all. I have this thing about being fake and so I can't just put on this mask of who I am not. Don't judge me for it, if you can. God is not finished with me yet.

The Lord has been dealing with me about different things and it seems the more God changes, the harder the devil works and you would think I would be ready for it and used to it, but I am not. I should know by now that the devil is after my husband and if he can't discourage him then he will go after his family, particularly the weaker vessel... yours truly. I should know by now that if the devil can defeat me, he has his foot in the door. I also should know by now that if he can attack my children, it will turn this mama into a bear and when he attacks my husband, then somebody better duck, cause I am about to start swinging... because the flesh in me wants to ball out while the Spirit in me tells me to chill, thus waging that ol' war inside, which leaves me completely drained and a catalyst for defeat. My heart and mouth are in a constant battle with each other. What's worse than that- is having the claws out and ready to pounce and devour. It is not a pleasant feeling- it's only fitting to liken it to an animal because that is exactly what the battle inside will make you feel like. Rest assured, I never act on my natural instincts, as hard as it is sometimes. I know the source of the problems. I know spiritual warfare is real and I know Satan is mad, I can trace his nasty footprints dancing all over the place, but to God be the glory, great things He is doing and that is an encouragement to me.

I saw this somewhere and it made me smile. I totally have to have a picture of some sort made to display as a constant reminder. Note to self: If you have something to say, please raise your hand and then put it over your mouth!

Hope it made you smile too. :)

Pray for us.

2 comments:

Tori said...

Hey He's still working on all of us. It's awfully hard to beat that carnal man but in time, we all get victory in parts of our lives.

I love that quote!!

Anonymous said...

I was raised as an MK (and proud of it) and have that spiritual warfare going on. It does seem the harder you draw to God the harder Satan fights you. I need to bite my tongue more often. Thanks for the post. Damara